Dr. Facilier and the Pink Elephants
Neverland is a small island and one the sea was a lonely pirate ship and we hear singing going on there. We zoom in on the ship and see the pink elephants set up a flag of the Jolly Roger on the mast. Pink Elephants: Oh a pink elephant's life is a wonderful life A-rovin' over the sea Give me a career as a pachyderm It's the life of an elephant for me Oh, the life of an elephant for me Some pink elephants are playing with darts on a picture of a crude drawing of Dr. Facilier on a door. Pink Elephants: Oh, a pink elephant's life is a wonderful life They never bury your bones For when it's all over A jolly sea rover drops in on his friend Rasputin Just about then, the door opened and a portly, short, fat, completely bald man with big ears and white sideburns, wearing a crimson waistcoat, cream gloves, a matching shirt, and spats on black shoes, a matching derby, tailcoat, and pants, named Lawrence, came out. Lawrence and Pink Elephants: Oh, my good friend Rasputin "Good morning, ship mates." Lawrence said only to get caught by a first pink elephant. "And what's good about it, Lawrence?" asked the first pink elephant. "Here we are collecting barnacles on this miserable island!" the pink elephant said. "While his nibs plays ring-around-the rosy with Flynn Rider." the third pink elephant said sticking his gun at Lawrence. "Look out there. Might go off!" Lawrence panicked but got his neck in a rope knot by the pink elephant. "We ought to be tending to the business of looting ships." the fourth one said. "Why, I've almost forgotten how to slit a throat." the fifth pink elephant said, using his dagger and got Lawrence free. "Better drop it." the pink elephant said as they all threw daggers at the stairs as Lawrence tried to avoid them. "And tell the doctor we want to put to sea, Larry!" the second one said. All the pink elephants laughed as Lawrence stuck out his tongue and walked away. A tall, skinny man with purple eyes, a thin mustache, purple eyes, a gap between his front teeth, long, boney fingers, and lanky arms and legs, wearing a black cord with a couple of crocodile teeth attached to it, a dark crimson undertaker tailcoat with a black collar, black pants, a purple vest that shows his bare midriff, a red waistband, and tall black shoes with white spats on them was looking at a map. He is Dr. Facilier. He had one of his hands cut off by Flynn and now has a silver hook and now he want revenge. "Blast that Flynn Rider!" Facilier snarled. "If I could only find his hideout, I'd trap him in his lair. But where is it?" He starts to look at the map "Mermaid lagoon? No, we searched that. We've combed Cannibal Cove. But here!" He stuck his silver hook at the far north west on the map but then groaned "No, no, no, no. That's Ancient Greek territ… But wait…" he took a good closer at the map "Those rhino guards know this island better than I do me own ship. Ah, I wonder…" At that moment, Lawrence walked in. "Good morning, doctor." "I'VE GOT IT!" Facilier cheered as he grabbed Lawrence with his hook pulled him closer "Megara, Larry!" "M-M-Megara, doctor?" Lawrence asked, very afraid. "Zeus's adopted daughter!" Facilier said, "She'll know where Flynn is hiding." "B-B-But-But will she talk, doctor?" asked Lawrence as Facilier let go. "Oh, a little persuasion might be in order.. Now let me see. Boiling in oil? Uh, keelhauling? Marooning?" Facilier said as he thought as a stuffed toy tiger named Tigger was singing horribly with his accordion. Tigger: Oh, a tiger's life Is a wonderful life You'll find adventure and sport But live every minute For all that is in it The life of a tiger is short Oh, the life Having enough of his singing, Facilier got out his reliquary and aimed it. As Lawrence got the shaving pack ready, the zap was heard and Lawrence heard a accordion fall and splashed in the water. He took a look only to get splashed in the face. Facilier put away the reliquary. "Now let me see, where was I?" asked Facilier. "Oh dear, dear, dear Dr. Facilier. Zapping a stuffed doll in the middle of his cadenza? It ain't good form, you know." Lawrence said. "Good form, Lawrence?" asked Facilier in a smooth voice first, and then yell angrily as he pushed the table aside and approached Lawrence and waving his hook. "BLAST GOOD FORM! DID FLYNN SHOW GOOD FORM WHEN HE DID THIS TO ME?!" "Why doctor, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank you might say." Lawrence said as he removed Facilier's coat. "Aye, but throwing it to that fox! That cursed beast liked the taste of me so well he's followed me ever since licking his chops for the rest of me!" Facilier said loudly at first and then said in a low voice as he sat down in the chair which Lawrence brought. "And he's had you by now, doctor, if he hadn't swallowed that alarm clock. But now when he's about, he warns you, as you might say with his tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock." Lawrence said. Speaking off tick-tock, there was a sound of tick-tocking heard. Lawrence and Facilier heard it. Facilier's face was in fear. There below his ship a red fox with a white muzzle and underbelly, a black nose and paws, a bushy tail with a white tip, yellow eyes, and sharp, white teeth named Foxy Loxy. "Well, what do we have here, now?" Foxy said, "It's the delicious, yummy Dr. Facilier. I'm going to eat him!" When he saw Facilier, the fox licked his mouth, hungry for a human. Facilier screamed. "LARRY!" He screamed as he leapt into Larry's arms "Oh, save me, Larry! Please don't let him get me, Larry! Please! Don't let him get me, Larry! Larry!" He hid behind a chair while Larry went to Foxy. "Here now, shame on you, upsetting the poor doctor. There'll be no handouts today." "Oh, come on, Lawrence!" Foxy pleaded, "May I please eat Facilier just one bite?" "No," replied Lawrence. "Shoo now, shoo. Go on, go on. Off with you, I say. Go away. Go away, out of here!" And as he said that, Foxy went away. "Oh, well!" he sighed, "I'll eat him next time." Facilier appeared from behind the sheet of the chair. "I-I-Is he gone, Larry?" he said in a scared voice. "Aye, Doctor. All clear. Nothing to worry about." Lawrence said as he tried to relax the shaking doctor. "Oh, Larry, Larry. I can't stand it any longer. I tell you I can't!" Facilier said as Lawrence sat him down on the chair. "Now, now, now, Doctor, just relax. What you need is a shave, a nice soothing shave. There now" Lawrence said as he put a towel around Facilier's head. The doctor sighed. A seagull saw the towel and sat on it and fell asleep as Lawrence sang. Lawrence: A valet's life is a wonderful life A-sailing over the seas Give me a career as a buc… Lawrence didn't see that he was putting shaving cream on the seagull's bottom. "Doctor, you know, I can't help noticing you just aunt been your usual jolly self of late." He picked up a razor and wiped it on a towel. Lawrence: Give me a career as a buccaneer… "And the crew's getting a might uneasy, Doctor. That is, what's left of it. Hmm." He was using the razor on the seagull's bottom and it wiped out her feathers. "Now why don't we put to sea, see? Leave Neverland. Forget Flynn Rider. There now!" he put some aftershave on the seagull's bottom. The seagull woke up and in horror, flew away covering her behind. Lawrence didn't see her go because he was putting some powder on his bare hand. Lawrence: Give me a career as a buccaneer… "We'll all be a lot happier, not to mention a lot healthier. Oh!" He put his hands out only to find out he was doing it in mid air. "Doctor? Oh dear! I never shaved him this close before." He never dared to look, so he didn't to look for it under the chair. "Don't worry doctor, it must be somewhere about." He began to walk off with the chair carrying him. The towel fell from Facilier's face and he looked down to see Lawrence making a fool of himself crawling to find something. "Get up, you idiot!" Facilier snapped. "Aye, aye, sir!" Lawrence said knocking the chair and Facilier to one side of the ship. Lawrence turned around to see him dazed. "Oh, I found it, doctor. Good as new." He tried to pull his head off only for Facilier to wake up very angry. "Why, you blithering blockhead!" Facilier cried, as he held Lawrence by the shirt and was about to kill him when… "Flynn Rider, ahoy!" the seventh pink elephant called from the watcher. "What? What? Where away?" Facilier asked. "Three points off the starboard bow!" the fifth one called. Facilier looked through his telescope and saw Flynn with Rapunzel, Tod, and Copper. "Swoggle me eyes, it is Flynn! Headed this way with his girlfriend and her brothers! Lawrence, pipe up the crew!" "Aye, aye, sir! Pipe up the crew! Pipe up the crew! All hands on deck!" He said as he whistled "All hands on deck! All hands on deck! All hands on deck!" All the pink elephants rose up and got into action. "Look alive, you swabs! We've got him this time, Lawrence!" He said as he put on his black overcoat with a purple color inside. "That we have, doctor." Facilier called to the pink elephants. "Man the Long Tom, you bilge rats!" He went to Lawrence and put on his black top hat with a skull and crossbones, a red band, and a large purple feather stuck in the band. "I've waited years for this." "That's not counting the holidays, either." Lawrence said. "Double the powder and shorten the fuse!" Facilier ordered as two of the pink elephants got the cannon ready. "Double the powder and shorten the fuse!" Lawrence repeated. "A pretty sight, Lawrence. Like sitting ducks. All right, men! Range: 42!" Facilier said as he used his telescope to pin point Flynn, Rapunzel, Tod, and Copper on a cloud viewing Neverland. "Range: 42!" Lawrence said. "Elevation: 65!" Facilier ordered as Lawrence repeated after him. "Three degrees west!" Lawrence repeated again. "Steady now!" This time, Lawrence didn't repeat. He covered his head with his hat and covered his ears. "Steady!" Category:Fan Fiction